Bog-standard

I was reading a long list of British words when one in particular caught my attention: bog-standard. Whoooosh - a split-second rewind to October 2003 when I was first reading OotP - this is what I came across:

"Well, we thought it was a bog-standard chicken until it started breathing fire."

A vague understanding was instantly formed, namely that the chicken in question was not too out-of-the-ordinary, but perhaps by wizarding standards at best. And one could just hear the scratchings coming from the cardboard box.

Fast forward to the present. This is the definition of bog-standard: (UK, somewhat derogatory) ordinary, basic. So there is definitely no wizarding connection. A Google search yields about 349,000 results, and obvious muggle ones at that (as opposed to stuff like "spellotape" and "blast ended skrewts", which yield results in their thousands). And when you try to find out its origins, you find out that everyone else is just as mystified as you are! It seems that this quirky, colourful little phrase just came out of nowhere and latched itself effortlessly onto the public psyche.

Bog-standard, I ask you? Gotta love the British.

What makes a good lecturer?

Lecturers come in all shapes and sizes, but the good ones have one thing in common:

• They speak TO the audience, not AT the audience.

A Whiff Of Yuletide

Thursday night, way past bedtime. "Christmas is approaching" I lay musing, "but what shall we do for a tree?" I had scoured the shops for a decent-looking tabletop tree earlier, to no avail. Then the long-dormant origami master in me stirred, and spit out, "we shall fold one, of course."

I had searched for Christmas tree origami models before. They were disappointing. Either they're flat, vaguely tree-like shapes, or modular structures resembling pagodas more than trees. So I set about devising an alternative method.

Being the strict purist I am, that would mean folding an entire Christmas tree out of a single sheet of paper. Yes I'm bonkers.

But I only realised that after hours of fruitless attempts, during which I worked out a solution to the decimal counter, revised the structure of the solar system clock, invented a 3D board game, to name a few things.

Needless to say I succumbed to pressure and tried modular origami instead X( My final method is based on one of the pagoda thingies plus the "Fortune Teller" fold. Somehow the two unrelated folds came together in a moment of glorious Eureka!!

This is partly due to my curious gift of "space awareness": presented with any simple enough fold or warped continuous structure (e.g. drapery and certain garments), I can mentally reconstruct their original state and folding process. So the whole thing was worked out lying in the dark, with mental images as reference. I resisted the enormous urge to creep out of bed and start folding one straight away, and was determined to do so first thing in the morning.

I woke on Friday feeling distinctively perky, and set about making this promising model. First the theory was tested out on scrap paper, just to get an idea of the proportions. It turned out pretty well! You can see how the finished model retains the elegance of pure origami without resembling a pagoda or using up 250 pieces of paper. The whole thing consists of 17 squares of paper, and holds together entirely by friction (except the topmost cap, which is optional and purely for aesthetic reasons).

Love love love love love it. 'Nuff said.

Next Time

"Next time, oh but next time"
Thus the idle heart flounders,
And the crannies of thought never see the light of day:
Old Time never loses,
Nor the Moirae nor the Muses,
Yet still 'tis the Mind that holds sway -
  It holds sway.

-----------------------------------

I was lying awake in bed in the wee hours of morning when this barged in. As sleep had not yet come and consciousness had exhausted itself out, my mind was a state of utter chaos.

Suddenly the first line came drifting across my plane of thought.

Then a blurred image of the second line floated into view.

Then a hint of the third...

I fumbled for my mobile phone, switched it on and jabbed the shortcut code for "notebook" in record time, all the while coaxing lines out of obscurity. It was like receiving unexpected extraterrestrial signals over wireless: a frantic attempt to record while trying to hold on to the signals!

Anyway I successfully got it down, and in a presentable form needing very little editing on my (conscious mind's) part. One of the very few times I've been able to do so. The "signal" is frequently too weak to capture, save a few phrases or lines. Revelations that occur during the day usually fall under this category because the Conscious is too active and overrides the "critical wavelength". The fragments produced go on my "pending projects list", and with some luck, get worked into a full-blown poem. Otherwise they get labelled Fragmentary and sit in my ditty box forever.

Dreams

Dreams are a way of convincing yourself of the truth.

How To Locate Missing Things

This is the procedure I go through when I can't find something:

1. Pinpoint the time you are 100% sure you last had it.

2. Recall the flow of events & your state of mind from that point onwards.

3. Locate the places where they occurred.

4. Mentally reconstruct your conscious from that point onwards, using the above information.

5. Take note of any probable weak spots.

6. Investigate those weak spots, either logically or by asking around, or by going there bodily and searching the floors:D

It may seem quite daunting but I assure you it isn't because all of that is already in your head, you just have to summon it forth. I resort to the method quite frequently because I'm such a scatterbrain! X(

(Originally an email reply to Arjan)

Dummies Guide To A Fulfilling Life

(a.k.a. my personal Principles of Being)

To lead a fulfilling life, you simply have to understand that

• 1. YOU ARE UNIQUE
• 2. YOU ARE UNIQUE FOR A PURPOSE
• 3. YOU ARE ABLE TO FULFIL THAT PURPOSE
• 4. YOU WILL FULFIL THAT PURPOSE

(Please note that you may not necessarily know what that purpose is - I often use the analogy of "a candle in the dark" - your path will be revealed to you as you follow it.)

Contemplate those words until every single atom in your body nods in belief. You will then begin to see the world in a new light, go on to accomplish the unthinkable and live a life bursting with richness. (But not necessarily "riches"!)

I have lived by them and proven it to be true.

(The above is just my tuppence worth - feel free to take it if you're out of change:])

Going Bananas

Dad says I'm a banana: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

I say I'm a banana with a worm problem: yellow on the outside, white on the inside, with something yellow and wriggly at the core.

(Worms can be yellow, right?)

(And why am I up at 2am writing such nonsense??)

Beijing 08.08.08: The Good, The Bad, And The Weird

So the opening ceremony's over. I'm going to serve my thoughts - still free of media influence - while they're fresh. Here goes.

THE GOOD

• Choice of Date
I could really nitpick here and say that in northern parts of China people actually prefer the number 6 over 8...nah, three eights is perfect enough.
• Choice of People
No faux pas, no out-of-place celebrities, fewer-than-normal clichés...this event is surprisingly well done considering what they churn out each Chinese New Year. Dai Yuqiang might be the natural choice for the singing, but when you think of it Liu Huan actually suits Sarah Brightman (squeee!!) better in terms of style and stage presence.
• Choice of Themes
Thank the Good Lord they didn't go with the monstrosity of a performance at the 2004 Olympics! I would have died with horror! Instead they stuck to classy themes like "Four Great Inventions" and the Silk Road and Peking Opera. Wise choice, as the Chinese are already branded over with red lanterns and psychedelic floral patterns...The opening drum matrix was especially spectacular, as was the Confucius part, though slightly overdone.
• The Podium
It's a scroll!! What more can I say??
• The Cauldron
I never knew they call that thing a cauldron...anyway, this year's is beautiful, very "Chinese" and brings to mind the Xiangyun relay torch.
• Entrance Order
Probably the most confusing entrance order in Olympic history - but we loved it! Muahahahahaha. Australians must have fallen asleep waiting for their nation's entrance.
• The Much-Abused Picture
Nice trick, letting the athletes do the stamping. I wonder why it wasn't soiled?
• The Lighting
When the lights were suddenly turned off during the drum sequence, I squealed in delight. There were many other instances of lighting setting the mood nicely.
• Giant Footprints
A pleasant surprise. I was wondering why the footprints didn't have toes - technical limits? Then I caught on: we're civilized enough to wear shoes, duh. (But the technical issue was probably true.)
• Choreography
London, you're in serious trouble :D

THE BAD

• Choice of Music
Another Olympic Opening Ceremony come and gone without a memorable piece of music to take home. What a shame. I would've loved to add the song of '08 to the list of Olympic theme songs that I can recall (which currently consists of only Amigos Para Siempre and Hand in Hand). Theme songs aside, I was really disappointed by the lack of recognisable Chinese music - true, there were instances from a wide range of styles, but few classics made it: Huanghe, Liangzhu, etc. A little girl sang Ode to Our Homeland as the national flag entered, and that was all. (Yet it was the most powerful scene of the night; I almost cried)
• Structure of Events
5000 years is a lot of stuff to portray. They got their priorities right, but the progression wasn't as smooth as it could have been.
• Handling of Particular Subjects
The Peking Opera part was quite creative, but I felt it was weak compared to the other subjects. Same for the Silk Road section, it didn't really explain the scope and purpose of the Silk Road.
• Cinematography
Many details were missed: dancers on the canvas, all the historic costumes, the cauldron coming out, Li Ning's facial expression during the final lap...maybe I'm asking too much of the camera crew =)
• Fireworks
Here's an idea: save a couple fireworks, and let people commute to work next morning, no?

THE WEIRD

• The Scroll
For about like, the first half hour it seemed so novel and elegant - after that it just gets in the way. Especially with all the irrelevant video clips. What an eyesore.
• The Feitian
Perhaps it was just me, or did those (supposedly beautiful heavenly beings) look like glittery intergalactic locusts?
• The Vanishing Brush Strokes
I was thrilled at the sight of dancers swirling ink onto the giant canvas - there were stylized clouds (xiangyun) among other things - but where did those strokes go? The finished picture shows no sign of them. They were far more prettier than the final hills and sun.
• The Doves
The wing-flapping imitations were pretty lame, but the big question is: did they actually release doves or not?

The Problem With The Bard

Ah the Bard the Bard the Bard. I read his sonnets a while ago, and have to say there's something very unsatisfying about them. Faithful followers are probably going to look daggers at me and screech "How dare you besmirch his hallowed name"etc.etc. Anyway...

Shakespearean sonnets are all very well, but there is something about them that irritates me: they start out magnificent, full of the spark that gives the Bard his reputation, but end fairly low-key. Consider this timeless example:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate

Typical Shakespeare, packing punches into the first couple of lines. Then take another sonnet, in this case my favourite one (and one of the few things I actually like about Shelley):

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone...

Which fades in comparison as expected. Six lines along, we get the third quatrain, which by definition should be where the volta lies. The Bard takes a stab at an epic one:

But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

And misses by mere inches. Whereas the other fellow comes up with:

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Okay I admit the latter has its volta at the last couplet. But Ozymandias leaves a burning impression of greatness, vanity and passing of ages...few Shakespearean sonnets have endings this powerful. This Chinese saying sums it all up: "Spurred on by first drumroll, tired by second, exhausted by third." (Yiguzuoqi, zai er shuai, san er jie.)

And that is all I have against the Bard.

Altador Cup III - Poll

The Altador Cup is an annual Yooyuball tournament held in Neopia. 16 teams compete against each other for the ultimate prize - the title of AC champion. Previously I couldn't get the hang of Yooyuball and thus didn't really participate in the games. Not anymore this year! Count me as a devoted supporter.

I scored goals, slung slushies, made lots of noise, and - being me - did a poll on the boards. Couldn't resist! It was titled "AC III Preferences Poll", and here are the results:

Total participants: 46

Direction of play:
Left to Right - 26
Right to Left - 21*

Formation:
3+1 - 17*
1+3 - 19
2+2 - 11

Best Yooyu:
Darigan - 2
Faerie - 8
Fire - 40*
Mutant - 0
Normal - 1
Snow - 0

Worst Yooyu:
Darigan - 9
Faerie - 7*
Fire - 0
Mutant - 25
Normal - 1
Snow - 9

*these were my choices.

The stats that I was really after were the left/right preference ones. One bit of regret: forgot to ask whether the participents were normally left handed or right handed....drat...

Ars Poetica

What is poetry?

To me, poetry is:

the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings (via Wordsworth)...that lack an alternative outlet.

Notes On Stormspotting

Stormspotting is the thrilling art of spotting storms. What makes it particularly challenging is recording bolts of lightning on video (or in my case, the pathetic Nokia7360).

Disclaimer: stormspotters are in no way related to trainspotters!

It takes few things to stormspot:

• Storm season
• Shelter from the rain
• A wide field of vision
• Something to record with
• Patience & luck

Many thanks to our dorm balcony for the shelter and altitude and 180 degree view for top-notch stormspotting.

The idea is simple:

You point your recording device at a fixed spot in general direction of the storm, wait until the right moment, then start recording! (If you have a good camera handy of course it is best to take long exposure photos instead of fussing around with video.) Get it right, and a streak of lightning will be captured on your screen within 15 seconds. Sounds really easy, but it is a major feat if all you have is a lousy cell phone recorder that takes seconds to respond...in such cases, to stormspot, you had better...

Know your target:

• Which direction is the storm coming from? According to my experience, the best time to record is when the action centre is within 10km~3km radius. Too far and the clouds get in the way, too near and lightning bolts go off on all sides: you'll be tempted to turn away from your "spot". Over here, storms usually close in from the south or northwest. I've yet to see a storm coming from the east.
• How far apart are the lightning bolts? During peak times it's usually 10~30 seconds. It takes all my resolution to wait those 10 seconds before recording again! (Which is necessary because my Nokia7360 has only 4mb of space so every second is precious.)
• How long will it take for the storm to pass/rage itself out? I make an educated guess based on wind speed and cloud cover. This gives an idea of how long the stormspotting session is going to last, since there is no point in stormspotting after the chances have dropped too low...

And trust your senses:

• Pick a spot and stick to it. Once I've decided on "the spot", I try very hard not to wander. Being distracted by will waste valuable time and opportunities. Keep in mind that you are very very unlikely to outrun lightning!
• Crying over spilt milk is...well, pointless. There are countless times that I missed the most magnificent bolt by seconds. The stormspotter's bane...grrrr. You'll just have to trust that you will capture "The One" sometime, somehow. Probably with lots of practice. Stormspotting sure is character building stuff!

An Oath

The Dove gave me feathers,
I cannot stay.
My wings may be cumbered,
Sun shrouded, skies grey,
Cold biting, wind smiting
Shore to shore:
Yet on I shall journey,
Till on no more.

OUTRAGE!!

There was a party this evening, held in a stuffy and noisy (nasty acoustics) ballroom. Before long, the anti-party-goer in me was protesting, so - after downing my share of grub - I slipped out, and went to the library instead.

It was straight to the periodicals room. I had been looking for recent issues of Nature for some while to no avail. After one last combing, I asked the student helper at the desk.

Me: Where are the international science journals?
Her: They're right there in that corner under "N".
Me: So how come there are none?
Her: Ahh. Right. They've stopped subscribing to them.
Me: What??!
Her: Well...you see the library decided that there were hardly any people were reading them, so they've cancelled subscriptions for this year.
Me: Cancelled?? THEY CANCELLED??!!
Her: Wait, I think there's still one left, you might want to scour through that row beside the wall...

I could have collapsed on the spot.

It's outrageous! Blasphemy!! What on earth is a university library doing without international science journals?

To clarify things, I went to the main desk where three librarians were having a good laugh. They had no idea the journals were missing, nor could they offer an explanation for the disappearance. They did seem shocked though, and said things like "no way, they can't unsubscribe to this Nat-you-are thing can they?", and "we're never going to get a subscription again if we cancel now!" So that went down the drain. A respectable one with greying hairs asked me amusingly, "you actually read them?"

JUST BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE CAN'T READ THEM DOESN'T MEAN NO ONE CAN OKAY??

Of course I restrained from shouting in public and merely mumbled a yes. Then greying Mr Venerables followed up with a "you're an undergraduate right? What's your subject?"

Argh.

Just get the journals back on rack for crying out loud.

---

Update: The day after that there were three international journals laid out, two of them published locally. On the second day five more were put up, including NG and Fortune but not Nature. I even spotted a few of last year's old journals masquerading as recent issues...how sad is that?

Update: They're all back now. Thank goodness!

The Horrendous Museum Scene

"Like I said, the Denver Museum of Nature and Science is for me as the Oxford Museum is for Richard Dawkins… a spiritual home."
- Splendid Elles

This recent essay on creationism invading museums is written by a 15-year old freethinker who volunteers at her local museum. It resonates with my views on creationism, but for now the topic will be museums.

As much as I love them, I've never really considered museums as my spiritual home - a spot always occupied by the great Albion. But then again it has everything to do with the numerous museums and other places of learning he offers.

The good old Hull Maritime Museum for example, holds a very special position in my heart due to all those field trips and birthday parties. I distinctly remember the taxidermied polar bear in its glass case under the window, and the blue room hung with fishing nets and anchors to resemble the oceans deep - not to mention the gigantic whale skeleton sprawlled across the ceiling! It was a world of wonder and terror to a five-year-old.

The public today has every need for museums. Young people need to be enlighted. Older people need to be reminded of the wonders of our world. Last but not least, we need to secure our batch of scientists for a very challenging future!

Every self-respecting region should have a museum, or a science centre at least. It should have the following features:

• Exhibitions
• Interactive elements
• Distribution of educational materials
• Research capacity

I believe that they are of equal importance, and only in unison can they fulfill the role of a well-rounded public learning place. But it seems far from reality...well the reality over here anyway.

On a hike this February, I found out quite a few displeasing facts about the museum scene over here:

Me: You know this lack of museums...I mean, is there even a Museum of SZ?
Eric: Yes there's definitely a Shenzhen Museum. I've been there.
Me: Really? I bet it's boring. SZ hasn't got a long history for one thing.
Eric: It sure is boring. I bet you can't even imagine how boring it is.
Me: That can't be too hard...let's see...it consists entirely of scale models and picture displays?
Eric: Ha. Correction: there's ONE model of a rocket in the atrium, then it's on to THREE WHOLE STOREYS of picture displays!
Me: *chokes*

You actually call that a museum? Pur-leease. Even the teeny tiny Nantou Museum has artifacts and a projector and a mock archaeological dig site. They should really make more of an effort, since SZ is already known as a "Cultural Desert". A bit of poking around, and I found a journal in the library called Science Popularization, which has a section devoted to improving museums. It's not like no one is into the matter!

To think of it, I've been to many, many museums. (That didn't occur to me until now!) From tiny community museums to grand national museums, it's always inspiring to see the treasures of ages. It also awes me to see how people are devoting their lives to fields that may not pay well, nor be of sufficient public interest, but nevertheless enhance our existence as a species - we are, after all, Homo Sapiens, and we thrive to understand and explore.

Basic Procedure For Effective Teaching

This procedure is suitable for all kinds of situations, though I've written it with teaching algorithms in mind. It addresses the needs of both visual spacial learners (by connecting to previous knowledge) and auditorial sequential learners (by repeating). There are three steps to follow, preferably in the prescribed order. I'll explain why later. Here are the steps:

1. What

What's coming up? The teacher gives a outline of what is to come. This can include definitions, an overview, what to expect, or anything relevant.
  i.e. You are going to do the laundry when I'm out.

2. How

How's it done? This is the actual teaching part itself. The material is presented in a way the teacher deems suitable for the learner.
  i.e Separate whites and colours.

3. Why

Why's it done like this? This is a very important step. The aim is to explain the material using concepts already familiar to the learner. It connects the new found knowledge to something already fully grasped, and thus strengthens it.
  i.e. Some colour dyes stain things - like how sweets stain your tongue.

I've noticed that the third step is largely none existent in school education (especially at higher up levels). They leave it to the students to make connections...big mistake. Under all the exam pressure and time pressure and parent pressure, surely priority should go to keeping the stuff inside your head?! I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of such connections made are mnemonic devices. Right after the Big Exam, they're gone with the wind...

Education should not merely be about memorising information!

So now you know the importance of the third step. But why put it last? I reckoned that since the second step is the most crucial part, it would make sense to reinforce it right away. The second step provides the things to connect previous knowledge.

Disclaimer: this method is entirely a creation of my musings, and does not come with a pedigree whatsoever.

How To See A Mirage

What, you've never seen a mirage before? Fear not, they are actually not as incredibly rare as some may think. In fact, you might see one today if you know where to look!

Things You Will Need

• A hot, sunny day
• Protection from the sun
• A loooong stretch of road, preferably over a hill*
• A camera, if you're up to it

*Safety note - If you are on foot or on a bike, please please do not attempt to observe a mirage in traffic. You can get seriously hurt. It's best to choose an unused road, or better still, observe from inside a moving car while someone else is driving.

Steps

• 1. Go to the very end of your chosen area and stand facing it.
• 2. Make sure your observation spot is safe, i.e. devoid of traffic and other hazards.
• 3. Crouch down slowly, keeping your eyes on the stretch of road in front of you. At some point you will start to see wisps of grey stretching out horizontally. If there's a hill, just climb the hill from the other side, watching out for said phenomenon.
• 4. Adjust your height until the wispy lines develop into clear "reflections". They will resemble patches of water on the road.
• 5. Admire your mirage! (And take some snapshots if you have a camera handy.)

What you see is an inferior mirage, because the mirror image is under the original one. It is caused by light being bent by a layer of hotter air near the ground, and is actually due to refraction, not reflection. See the links for more on mirages.

How did I think of this? Well I see them every single day in summer. There's a hilly stretch of road on the way to school, so they dance into view whether I ask nicely or not. Guess it's a comfort of living in the subtropics.

Further Reading:

• Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirage
• An Introduction to Mirages: http://mintaka.sdsu.edu/GF/mirages/mirintro.html

Umbrella Survey

It's been raining ever since we got back from the picnic. Not the heavy kind, more like a fine drizzle that goes on for ever and ever. It can drive one insane.

Anyway fearless people like us are unaffected by a bit of drizzle. We cycle every day to school, rain or none. So one arm has to do the job of holding up the umbrella. The question is, which one?

You'd think that would be easy. The stronger hand steers the bike while the weaker one does the easier job of brolly-holding...therefore most people should hold the umbrella in their left hands, right?

Think again.

According to a brief (and whimsical) survey conducted by me in the rain on Thursday 3rd of April during the lunch rush:

of the 94 people on bicycles holding an umbrella, 43 (45%) did so using their left hands, while 51 (55%) did so using their right hands.

That's almost neck-and-neck. Perhaps it matters so little that it's entirely up to statistics. In that case, I'd bet 50/50.

I'll put it up for further pondering.

---

For your information/curiosity: I hold mine in my right hand.

And yes, I DO do such weird things on impulse.

Fireworks in Zero G

...'Fireworks Theory', which suggested that the universe began as a geometrical point, a 'primeval atom', which burst into glory and had been moving apart ever since...

- A Short History of Nearly Everything, P173

Having read this I started to imagine how fireworks would behave under zero gravity conditions.

Since there would be no gravity to pull the sparks into a downward curve, they would radiate out from the intial point, like spikes on a sea urchin. (not considering the force from ejecting it out in the first place)

And if a lone firework was ignited in a vast space of vacuum in 0G, then the sparks would travel outward for ever and ever...expanding the boundary at incredible rates.

So much for the Big Bang!

A Short History Of Nearly Everything

Why is it that progress can sit in constipation for aeons...then all of a sudden...come whooshing in leaps and bounds - merely a month after the Motion Mountain discovery, another rare life-changing gem comes into view: A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson.

It was love at first sight. Honestly. (And that's coming from me who never judges a book by it cover, me who let HP sit moulding on the shelf for a whole year before prising it open.) Mum and I were in Carrefour at the Deira City Centre, Dubai, scanning the books section, and its pinkish cover just jumped out from shelves of rubbish, screaming to be read. A split-second later I realised this was the original version of that terrible weighty tome Mabel had picked up years ago - it was called Wanwu Jianshi in Chinese. I bought it anyway.

Lucky, lucky me! It kept me engrossed for the full 7-hour flight back home...didn't sleep a wink (our flight was at two in the morning, so that's saying something). As a bonus I witnessed one of the most mind-blowing sunrises I've ever seen.

It's the Holy Grail I never knew existed.

It's a book that makes my blood boil.

Enough said.

Motion Mountain

I have found my Holy Grail - in the form of a 1500-page PDF book called Motion Mountain.

It's a (text)book on physics,

...written in a way that should appeal both to people who prefer thinking in images and to those that prefer thinking in words...

And it is

[a book] written for the curious: it is entertaining, surprising and challenging on every page. With little mathematics, starting from observations of everyday life...

All my subconscious fancies rolled into one.

And to top it all, it's free.