Why are we so afraid of the self?

Spending time alone is undesirable, apparently. I tell my mentor my plans for a quiet weekend at home, and get asked 'don't you have a social life??' Well how can I not? But is my preference for quiet reflection something to be pitied - a pathetic substitute compensating for a lack of social skills?

Somehow 'the self' has achieved some sort of taboo status in our society. The words 'selfish' and 'narcissistic' carry enough negative connotation to make us avoid them like the plague. I once asked a friend who was filled with doubt about university, her career, and life in general: what is your strongest passion? What aspect of the world would you like to change, if given the chance? I was met with a blank stare and mumbles of 'dunno...lots of things...perhaps.' I could tell by the glossed-over look in her eyes that it was foreign territory to her, and a scary, primal one at that.

I have been in many such conversations, and it's no surprise really. Education does not ask us these questions (not at the proper stages anyway); obligations and circumstances discourage anything that is not 'proper' and 'realistic'. We are taught to drink in the findings of those before us, because one man alone is an insignificant force - I happen to agree with this sentiment, except in the context of personal development, education, or Bildung, whichever term you may prefer.

The argument is: no one but you can truly know yourself. Others might be able to piece together a larger picture that you have missed, but say what you will, you are the key keeper to your thoughts and experiences. (It might seem like I'm going to go off on a tangent, but it'll come together later on, promise.)

This leads us to the thing called purpose. A lack of purpose can be destructive, like any old-timer might tell you. Like identity, purpose was once considered as fixed and god-given: men were supposed to provide for the family, women were supposed to rear children. This view has been challenged. We now have greater freedom over our bodies and minds than any other time in history. So many choices - now what?

Religion is a time-tested place to find purpose. Actually it's the perfect place - your purpose in life is to serve the Lord, full stop. There it is, clear as day. It has been the salvation of many souls, the solution to many problems, and could well be the Grand Unification Theory...if only there existed just one religion. Too bad n>1.

But hang on, even if we're always at odds with someone else and prone to splattering blood and guts, aren't there things that appeal to us all as human beings? Off the top of my head,

• The absence of hunger, disease, and threat;
• Access to tools, transport, education;
• Family, friends - human contact;
• Essential possessions...

Why not make it your purpose to improve one of these things for humankind? Think about it. You do not have to move mountains or appease crowds - securing one thing for one person is a change for the better. Of course, you could always aim for more. An even better prospect:

What if you do better at some things than others? What if you like doing something better than everything else? Perhaps by nature you are not very comfortable interacting with large groups of people. You are, however, able to explain to them on paper stuff they otherwise wouldn't understand. It sounds like Elysium, everyone playing to their strengths and interests instead of trying to live up to expectations. It's certainly possible. Maybe it just hasn't occurred to you yet. Now for the ultimate question:

How would you set about finding your purpose? In other words, what are you most suited for? This is where the 'self' comes in. We need to pinpoint our strengths and passions, and...you guessed it, it's up to the key keeper to let us in. Spend time with yourself, asking questions and pursuing arguments. Use that information to find your purpose in life. It doesn't even have to be precise. It will, however, be the first step towards personal fulfilment, happiness, and above all, world peace.

This is why I think reflecting on the self is necessary and important. And, after all, it's only bad when you think too much of yourself and fail to realise that other people exist too:)

Small-group Game Dynamics

I'm planning my Geography Ambassador sessions for Monday. Getting a bunch of year 9/11/12s excited about geography just by talking is trickier than you think - as I found out on my first visit. So this time I'm opting for an interactive activity that has little chance of floundering, and might actually get people excited.

I know of only one game that fits the bill and is plausible in small groups: Bananagrams. In case you've never heard of it, it's a light version of Scrabble that doesn't need a board, has very simple rules, and doesn't require immense stretches of waiting. Oh and everyone makes their own crossword simultaneously. (I feel honour-bound to mention here that the game had existed under different names long before the current version was marketed.) Simply put, it's an elegantly structured game that despite lacking "traditional" reward mechanisms and player interaction, never fails to engage and entertain.

Now how to use the same principles in a geography-related activity? I've attempted to (after going 3 days on about 9 hours of sleep due to other matters) strip it down to the bare bones, in hopes of remodelling them into some thing useful. Thus...

In order to stimulate the Bananagrams mode of play, players need:

1. Unpredictable input - in the form of scrambled letter tiles
2. Independent play - each player makes their own crossword
2. Choice within structure - here structure = crossword
3. Self-imposed time limits - determined by a) the shortest length of time needed to complete each crossword, and b) the number of tiles available.

It doesn't sound much of an interactive game any more, does it? A forage into the murky waters of game theory and group dynamics is much needed, but I've already used up my quota of consecutive sanity today.

Now I'm thinking case studies and career aspirations and geoggy jargon and diamond 9 exercises and index cards...and this is so exciting!

One Learning Style to Rule Them All

I've been thinking about learning styles at lot lately (a sure indicator that work is piling up and relevant mental functions are shutting down X/). It's been a recurring wool-gathering topic of mine for nearly four years - but only recently have the outlines really begun to sharpen. The conclusion (for now) is that visual-spatial learners, global learners, holistic learners, INTPs, ADDs, what-have-you all touch on three basic functions that mark my primary learning style. I use "learning style" not "thinking pattern" because it doesn't necessarily manifest itself in mundane situations, more in larger scale operations where linear methods get unwieldy. The three functions are as follows:

1. Perceiving information, fuelled by innate curiosity. This means taking in (through reading for example) as much information as one can handle. Cast the net wide and far, and if something fascinating turns up, pursue it to the end of the world. The focus here is not on understanding or even retaining details of the material, but rather on translating it into a single internal language (abstract spatial forms in my case).

2. Processing aforementioned information, subconsciously. Yes this sounds bizarre but it's the best summary I could muster. Basically you take the gathered information and ruminate over it, not too methodically, just turning the facts over and over in your head. You place a lot of trust in the subconscious mind here, like how you can't be sure a calculator really knows how to square but presume it does anyway.

3. Presenting the results. When the subconscious processing has reached a critical level, patterns and connections start to surface and get harvested by the conscious mind, who translates them into the utility language, and subsequently stores it up and/or sends it out via the external language. Only at this stage do you actually establish an understanding of the material, which is two steps too late compared to the normal, linear learning style.

(Come to think of it, this is exactly how I write poetry)

It's a bit like making a stew really. You chop up vegetables and meat, dump the whole lot in a pot, and apply heat. The end result looks nothing like the original components, but is every bit the sum of them. (Can you tell what cut of beef they used just by looking at that brown lump of goodness? I bet not.)

The good news: the end product is usually of more value than the individual parts combined. The bad news: you've no idea how you reached such conclusions, and in academia that spells TROUBLE. Maybe it was brought about by paper A? Book B? Wikipedia article C? Or was it that chat you had with Uncle Tom when you were six?

For me right now though, that's not the main concern. What I'm direly in need of at the moment is more input through reading (the Perceiving part). This is so ironic I could weep, since for 12 long years it was my sole mission to preserve and hone both my curiosity and ability to absorb information. Do forgive me, I was unassisted and clueless back then.

As I was saying, the reasoning (read vicious cycle) goes as such:

Read paper → not very interesting → might get insight once I read more → consult reading list → list super long → daunted → read on anyway → (lather rinse repeat several times) → still can't see where it's going → nagging feeling of guilt → unable to concentrate → read on anyway → (lather rinse repeat several times) → get stressed out → depression sets in → bugger all this for a lark, I'm going to bed for the sake of my sanity.

Did I mention that my mind operates on cosmological time scales? This has become a very serious problem because I'm hopelessly dependant on this particular mode of learning (proof: scored 12/12 for "Global Learner" on a quiz by the University of York) and that my sense of time is practically nonexistent compared to my sense of space. University does not allow enough time for me to ruminate properly. When you haven't even formed any opinions of your own, how do you set about presenting them in an essay?

Epic fail.

Does this mean I'm doomed? Probably. A good friend of mine recently said that my nemesis is structured learning, and that the doctorate environment would be my element. (I cannot thank her enough for that foresight - if anything, it has warded off feelings of worthlessness.) The tragic gut-wrenching part is actually getting to that stage. School has never been kind to me, yet I knew all along that my potential belongs somewhere deep within that intimidating bureaucracy. I knew it at the age of five, curled up with a bowl of congee in front of the TV, being mesmerised by a lecture on seismology.

So all is not lost. Not yet.



Glossary:
Internal language - the way in which the subconscious mind stores and organises thoughts; apparent in dreams as the dominating sensory function (eg sight, hearing etc).
Utility language - the way in which the conscious mind stores and organises thoughts. Mnemonic devices can be classified as such. This can vary quite a lot according to context, for example you can use the phrase "Every Green Bus Drives Fast" (EGBDF) to remember notes on treble clef lines, but can also use that note with the a dash through the middle (middle C) as a reference to figure out what the others are.
External language - the way in which you communicate your thoughts with others, ie as in what we normally mean by "language".


Disclaimer: I'm no psychologist, nor indeed anyone remotely qualified to elaborate on such matters. This is just a model I've come up with to explain my individual case. All terms, ideas and examples devised by the author.

To those who are trying to save others

There is, as of yet, no strong and solid Grand Unification Theory.

There never will be, for human minds are as wildly diverse as the environments that shape them.

One man's boon is another man's bane.

The lost are not lost if they deem themselves not to be.

There cannot be peace as long as we fail to realise this.

Please live and let live.

Unheard Voices

If I had the chance to advocate, sponsor or organise any human development programme, it would be one that encourages creative writing in the lowest dregs of society.

The unheard of are those we desperately need to hear from.

What makes a good lecturer?

Lecturers come in all shapes and sizes, but the good ones have one thing in common:

• They speak TO the audience, not AT the audience.

Dreams

Dreams are a way of convincing yourself of the truth.

Dummies Guide To A Fulfilling Life

(a.k.a. my personal Principles of Being)

To lead a fulfilling life, you simply have to understand that

• 1. YOU ARE UNIQUE
• 2. YOU ARE UNIQUE FOR A PURPOSE
• 3. YOU ARE ABLE TO FULFIL THAT PURPOSE
• 4. YOU WILL FULFIL THAT PURPOSE

(Please note that you may not necessarily know what that purpose is - I often use the analogy of "a candle in the dark" - your path will be revealed to you as you follow it.)

Contemplate those words until every single atom in your body nods in belief. You will then begin to see the world in a new light, go on to accomplish the unthinkable and live a life bursting with richness. (But not necessarily "riches"!)

I have lived by them and proven it to be true.

(The above is just my tuppence worth - feel free to take it if you're out of change:])

Ars Poetica

What is poetry?

To me, poetry is:

the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings (via Wordsworth)...that lack an alternative outlet.

The Horrendous Museum Scene

"Like I said, the Denver Museum of Nature and Science is for me as the Oxford Museum is for Richard Dawkins… a spiritual home."
- Splendid Elles

This recent essay on creationism invading museums is written by a 15-year old freethinker who volunteers at her local museum. It resonates with my views on creationism, but for now the topic will be museums.

As much as I love them, I've never really considered museums as my spiritual home - a spot always occupied by the great Albion. But then again it has everything to do with the numerous museums and other places of learning he offers.

The good old Hull Maritime Museum for example, holds a very special position in my heart due to all those field trips and birthday parties. I distinctly remember the taxidermied polar bear in its glass case under the window, and the blue room hung with fishing nets and anchors to resemble the oceans deep - not to mention the gigantic whale skeleton sprawlled across the ceiling! It was a world of wonder and terror to a five-year-old.

The public today has every need for museums. Young people need to be enlighted. Older people need to be reminded of the wonders of our world. Last but not least, we need to secure our batch of scientists for a very challenging future!

Every self-respecting region should have a museum, or a science centre at least. It should have the following features:

• Exhibitions
• Interactive elements
• Distribution of educational materials
• Research capacity

I believe that they are of equal importance, and only in unison can they fulfill the role of a well-rounded public learning place. But it seems far from reality...well the reality over here anyway.

On a hike this February, I found out quite a few displeasing facts about the museum scene over here:

Me: You know this lack of museums...I mean, is there even a Museum of SZ?
Eric: Yes there's definitely a Shenzhen Museum. I've been there.
Me: Really? I bet it's boring. SZ hasn't got a long history for one thing.
Eric: It sure is boring. I bet you can't even imagine how boring it is.
Me: That can't be too hard...let's see...it consists entirely of scale models and picture displays?
Eric: Ha. Correction: there's ONE model of a rocket in the atrium, then it's on to THREE WHOLE STOREYS of picture displays!
Me: *chokes*

You actually call that a museum? Pur-leease. Even the teeny tiny Nantou Museum has artifacts and a projector and a mock archaeological dig site. They should really make more of an effort, since SZ is already known as a "Cultural Desert". A bit of poking around, and I found a journal in the library called Science Popularization, which has a section devoted to improving museums. It's not like no one is into the matter!

To think of it, I've been to many, many museums. (That didn't occur to me until now!) From tiny community museums to grand national museums, it's always inspiring to see the treasures of ages. It also awes me to see how people are devoting their lives to fields that may not pay well, nor be of sufficient public interest, but nevertheless enhance our existence as a species - we are, after all, Homo Sapiens, and we thrive to understand and explore.

Basic Procedure For Effective Teaching

This procedure is suitable for all kinds of situations, though I've written it with teaching algorithms in mind. It addresses the needs of both visual spacial learners (by connecting to previous knowledge) and auditorial sequential learners (by repeating). There are three steps to follow, preferably in the prescribed order. I'll explain why later. Here are the steps:

1. What

What's coming up? The teacher gives a outline of what is to come. This can include definitions, an overview, what to expect, or anything relevant.
  i.e. You are going to do the laundry when I'm out.

2. How

How's it done? This is the actual teaching part itself. The material is presented in a way the teacher deems suitable for the learner.
  i.e Separate whites and colours.

3. Why

Why's it done like this? This is a very important step. The aim is to explain the material using concepts already familiar to the learner. It connects the new found knowledge to something already fully grasped, and thus strengthens it.
  i.e. Some colour dyes stain things - like how sweets stain your tongue.

I've noticed that the third step is largely none existent in school education (especially at higher up levels). They leave it to the students to make connections...big mistake. Under all the exam pressure and time pressure and parent pressure, surely priority should go to keeping the stuff inside your head?! I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of such connections made are mnemonic devices. Right after the Big Exam, they're gone with the wind...

Education should not merely be about memorising information!

So now you know the importance of the third step. But why put it last? I reckoned that since the second step is the most crucial part, it would make sense to reinforce it right away. The second step provides the things to connect previous knowledge.

Disclaimer: this method is entirely a creation of my musings, and does not come with a pedigree whatsoever.

Fireworks in Zero G

...'Fireworks Theory', which suggested that the universe began as a geometrical point, a 'primeval atom', which burst into glory and had been moving apart ever since...

- A Short History of Nearly Everything, P173

Having read this I started to imagine how fireworks would behave under zero gravity conditions.

Since there would be no gravity to pull the sparks into a downward curve, they would radiate out from the intial point, like spikes on a sea urchin. (not considering the force from ejecting it out in the first place)

And if a lone firework was ignited in a vast space of vacuum in 0G, then the sparks would travel outward for ever and ever...expanding the boundary at incredible rates.

So much for the Big Bang!