Somehow 'the self' has achieved some sort of taboo status in our society. The words 'selfish' and 'narcissistic' carry enough negative connotation to make us avoid them like the plague. I once asked a friend who was filled with doubt about university, her career, and life in general: what is your strongest passion? What aspect of the world would you like to change, if given the chance? I was met with a blank stare and mumbles of 'dunno...lots of things...perhaps.' I could tell by the glossed-over look in her eyes that it was foreign territory to her, and a scary, primal one at that.
I have been in many such conversations, and it's no surprise really. Education does not ask us these questions (not at the proper stages anyway); obligations and circumstances discourage anything that is not 'proper' and 'realistic'. We are taught to drink in the findings of those before us, because one man alone is an insignificant force - I happen to agree with this sentiment, except in the context of personal development, education, or Bildung, whichever term you may prefer.
The argument is: no one but you can truly know yourself. Others might be able to piece together a larger picture that you have missed, but say what you will, you are the key keeper to your thoughts and experiences. (It might seem like I'm going to go off on a tangent, but it'll come together later on, promise.)
This leads us to the thing called purpose. A lack of purpose can be destructive, like any old-timer might tell you. Like identity, purpose was once considered as fixed and god-given: men were supposed to provide for the family, women were supposed to rear children. This view has been challenged. We now have greater freedom over our bodies and minds than any other time in history. So many choices - now what?
Religion is a time-tested place to find purpose. Actually it's the perfect place - your purpose in life is to serve the Lord, full stop. There it is, clear as day. It has been the salvation of many souls, the solution to many problems, and could well be the Grand Unification Theory...if only there existed just one religion. Too bad n>1.
But hang on, even if we're always at odds with someone else and prone to splattering blood and guts, aren't there things that appeal to us all as human beings? Off the top of my head,
- The absence of hunger, disease, and threat;
- Access to tools, transport, education;
- Family, friends - human contact;
- Essential possessions...
What if you do better at some things than others? What if you like doing something better than everything else? Perhaps by nature you are not very comfortable interacting with large groups of people. You are, however, able to explain to them on paper stuff they otherwise wouldn't understand. It sounds like Elysium, everyone playing to their strengths and interests instead of trying to live up to expectations. It's certainly possible. Maybe it just hasn't occurred to you yet. Now for the ultimate question:
How would you set about finding your purpose? In other words, what are you most suited for? This is where the 'self' comes in. We need to pinpoint our strengths and passions, and...you guessed it, it's up to the key keeper to let us in. Spend time with yourself, asking questions and pursuing arguments. Use that information to find your purpose in life. It doesn't even have to be precise. It will, however, be the first step towards personal fulfilment, happiness, and above all, world peace.
This is why I think reflecting on the self is necessary and important. And, after all, it's only bad when you think too much of yourself and fail to realise that other people exist too:)
