17 Oct 2009

How to print on both sides of the paper

Computers on campus do the deal automatically; they print double-sided (aka two-sided or duplex) without being asked. This was very much taken for granted until I linked my laptop to the campus network, installed a print client & (remote) printer, sent off a doc for printing, and woe betide - it came back single sided. The woe part stems from the fact that 1) printing costs money and 2) the document was a rare whopper.

After searching every nook and cranny of printer settings and help files I was in despair. How oh how does this option show up on campus, but not on my own laptop? Doing it manually with 50-page scripts seemed a good idea a decade ago, but I digress...

The crux of the problem: some obscure widget termed "Duplex Unit". Yes it's a breeze to activate, and no, I didn't figure that out until my supply of clickable tabs was exhausted. To locate aforementioned widget:
Computer > Control Panel > Printers > select, then right click on default printer > Properties > Device Settings > Installable Options > Duplex Unit (for 2-Sided Printing)
(Apologies if you're not using some retarded form of MS Windows.)

Once you've changed it to "installed", the option to print on both sides of the paper will show up in the printer's settings (Printing Preferences > Finishing > Print On Both sides).

You can stop headdesking now.

8 Oct 2009

How to fly in dreams

1. Start lucid dreaming.

2. Run through some place with an open view of the sky. A dusty, sun-scorched village in Africa might work well.

3. Conjure up a sense of urgency. Having a madman hot on your tracks helps.

4. RUN like your life depended on it - it probably will (see above).

5. Spread your arms while running flat out, hazarding a leap or two as you tear through said village. Take notice of your surroundings and your urge to outrun your pursuer.

6. Get desperate.

7. Take a deep breath and launch off in earnest. Gravity will pull you down, but now that you have a split-second experience of what it feels like to fly, nothing can stop you. You have already gained momentum, and also knowledge of flight. That's all you'll need. Keep flapping those arms and bobbing inches from the ground, occasionally scraping your toes through the dirt, steadily, steadily now...a bit higher...and next thing you know, the village has shrunken to a toy town and you really are flying!*


*Well that was how I learned to fly anyway.